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Average Kid, Big Dreams, Now What?
By Cynthia Kocialski
Every year, every child is asked by a multitude of people, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” As children grow, what they wanted to be in preschool is completely different from what they want to be in high school. But one thing doesn’t change.
No one ever follows this question by asking how they are going to make this dream a reality. If probed, the answer given will simply be that of continuing one’s studies and this isn’t adequate. If your child wants to be a renowned veterinarian, then studies aren’t enough. Every veterinarian receives the same training, yet some thrive in the profession while others don’t. It’s not the training that makes the difference. It’s something else.
Regardless of your child’s dream, whether it is lofty or down to earth, each and every child wants the same thing. They want their dream to become a reality.
When children are born, parents have no idea what lies ahead for them in the future. As parents we hope, but we don’t know. If a parent is asked about what they want for their children, the usually vague response is health and happiness. But how does anyone achieve happiness, it’s by fulfilling their dreams.
There you have it. Children don’t want their dreams to stay just dreams, and parents want their children to become their dreams so they’ll be happy. But how? A dream is nothing more than a goal. People aren’t suddenly surprised one day and find that they are living their dream. It takes concerted effort to become successful.
Most parents realize that only a rare few have an extreme talent for anything. Somewhere we embraced the notion that those superstars and those most successful are those that are the most talented in the world at something. Is this true? Is there no hope for those who are just average?
Of course not, there is always hope and in fact, the odds of success are actually in their favor. Over my career, what I’ve learned is success in life doesn’t hinge upon having an extreme ability or getting the top grades. There are lots of average people who are highly successful. If talent alone were the determining factor, we wouldn’t see drop outs being billionaires. The biggest corporations would be headed by the alumni of the top universities, and that’s not true either. Scientific breakthroughs would be discovered only by those with the highest IQ’s, and studies have disproved this as well. It seems contradictory. Why is this?
To achieve, it all begins with a change in our mindset as to what is truly required. It starts by accepting that an extreme talent isn’t necessary. It begins by dispelling some of those concepts we learned in school, notions meant to help us learn knowledge, but don’t necessarily hold true for reaching our dreams. In the first chapter, Out of the Classroom Lessons in Success opens with why straight A grades are not required for success. Too many people equate academic success with future professional success, and this book begs to differ. Why average works for success is because it’s not one single talent that matters as much as the combination of qualities. So any one talent simply needs to be ‘good enough’.
There’s a big difference between buying an item and giving it to someone as a gift, and buying it, wrapping it up, putting a bow on it, and presenting it to the recipient in a unique manner – the later just has that WOW factor even if the actual gift is just ordinary. Talent is the same. Package up the average and it becomes successful. Don’t package up the extraordinary and it will get a lackluster reception.
The book further discusses some of those misconceptions and half-truths, which when taken for literal or face value will hinder success. Every school child has heard it, “Good things come to those that wait”. Is this really wise advice if you want to reach your dreams? Shouldn’t it be “Good things come to those that wait, better things come to those that ask, and the best things come to those who go out and get what they want.” Now imagine what would happen in a classroom if children knew more than the opening, could a teacher keep control? Probably not. The classroom would become chaos. However, if you hope to reach your dream, then just sitting quietly and waiting for your dream to be presented to you isn’t a viable strategy. Yet, this is what many people do because this is what they were taught.
If there is any big secret to success, it’s that extreme talent isn’t necessarily required. If there is one big misstep, it’s believing that success hinges upon perfecting a specific talent, to focus and hone that one skill and neglect every other. It’s the combination of talents and skills that make people a success. Wow, that’s a huge shift in thinking, because it means it is possible for just about anyone to be successful.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Cynthia Kocialski is the founder of three tech start-ups companies. In the past 15 years, she has been involved in dozens of start-ups. Cynthia writes the Start-up Entrepreneurs’ Blog www.cynthiakocialski.com. Cynthia has written the book, “Out of the Classroom Lessons in Success: How to Prosper Without Being at the Top of the Class.” The book serves up tips, insight, and wisdom to enable young adults and parents of kids to know what it will take to forge a successful career, no matter what their academic achievement.
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